In the past few years, the divorce rate in the U.S. has fallen. While this is true, it’s still estimated that up to 39% of marriages will still end divorce.
Unfortunately, this is still many people who will be getting a divorce.
Are you concerned that divorce may be in your future? Do you want to know for sure?
While there’s no way to predict who will and won’t get divorced, there are some signs you can watch for. Keep reading to learn the signs you need a divorce.
You Feel Defensive Around Your Spouse
Do you feel like you always have to be ready for a fight when your spouse is around? If so, it may be a sign it’s time to contact a Divorce Lawyer.
Being defensive around your spouse is not a good sign. If you are always on guard for an attack, it means your relationship is not in a good place.
While the attacks are hard on your marriage, the defensive response you have can be just as harmful. If you respond with defensiveness to your spouse, it will make them feel unconnected and unheard. This is just going to lead to an ongoing cycle of escalation that may wind up destroying your relationship.
You Aren’t Happy
When you are in a good relationship, you are usually happy.
Every couple has fights and disagreements; however, things should be calm and peaceful most of the time.
Does your partner shut down? Are they unreliable, critical, or hostile most of the time? Do you feel like your spouse is incompetent, lazy, or unresponsive?
If you are constantly unhappy, it’s another sign your marriage is not doing well.
No or Poor Communication
Communication is an important ingredient to any healthy relationship. Even if the communication results in a disagreement, you and your spouse need to understand how each other feels each day.
While some may believe that avoiding the conversation will prevent arguments, this will only lead to more issues down the road.
If communication breaks down, it’s an indication that neither party will invest the effort needed to learn what one another is feeling.
When this happens, it is an indication from both parties that the relationship is no longer worth their time or effort.
All You Care About Is Winning
If you don’t fight at all, it’s a sign of detachment. This is a sign of divorce; however, when you argue and disagree, what’s the goal or outcome that you want?
Is your goal just to come out on top?
If all fighting is about is placing blame, pointing fingers, and the need to win, then it’s not about connection; it’s about power. This is a huge red flag you can’t afford to ignore.
One Person Refuses to Talk
Complete silence is never a good sign. It may mean divorce is near.
This is particularly the case if one partner is working on getting to the cause of the issues in the relationship and the other remains silent.
If you attempt to engage with your spouse about the things that bother you, but all you get is silence, them shutting down, or even checking out on you, it means your relationship isn’t in a good place.
Stonewalling is never a good sign. It means that person has stopped putting effort into fixing what is wrong. If you don’t put in the effort to fix things, they will only get worse.
You Actively Avoid Your Partner
When you arrive home from work and see your spouse is home, do you avoid going inside for a while?
Do you find reasons to spend time with your family and friends more and more?
If so, it’s a clear indication that things have changed on your end significantly.
No Physical Intimacy
Intimacy is an important part of any successful marriage. For many people, it is something that is taken for granted.
If you notice a reduction of affection, it could be caused by several things. For example, it may be caused by stress, children, or busy work schedules.
A short stretch of abstinence between you and your partner isn’t always a sign of an issue. However, when the situation stretches on for months or years, it may mean your marriage has reached the end of its life.
When your relationship lacks sex or intimacy, including cuddling, kissing, and hugs, it signifies no love interest. Usually, this begins with things slowing down or halting in your bedroom.
You Try to Provoke Your Spouse
Have you found you are constantly trying to see how far you can push your marriage or spouse before everything falls apart? If so, you are essentially playing divorce roulette.
Once you begin to push your spouse’s threshold, it may be a sign that you subconsciously want to end things but are scared to make a move.
For example, leaving your computer open with a flirty email to someone you hope your spouse will see is provoking them and looking for a fight. This is a sign that it may be time to consider divorce.
You Constantly Criticize One Another
While some constructive criticism is helpful in all parts of your life, it will only work if things are balanced.
If you criticize each other more than you compliment one another, then you are headed straight for trouble.
Research has shown that you need five positive statements to counteract one negative one. This is the only effective way to keep your relationship on good terms.
Ongoing criticism of one another is a definite sign that divorce may be on the horizon.
People You Know Encourage You to End Your Relationship
If your family members or friends don’t like your partner and they encourage you to break up – and you will be better off doing this – you should pay attention.
The people who are closest to you want what is best for you. Sometimes, they can see things clearly when you can’t.
You Hide Who You Really Are
Do you feel like you will be rejected if you let your spouse see all of who you are? If so, you will never find a fulfilling relationship with them.
If you are constantly filtering yourself or keeping your beliefs to yourself, it means they aren’t respectful of your opinion. This is something that is extremely difficult to repair.
One Spouse Turns to Porn Rather Than Their Partner
Many marriages end in divorce when one person is overly interested in porn.
Many people choose to watch pornography periodically or casually. However, if it becomes a priority over their spouse, the sexual relationship, and by extension, marriage, is compromised.
Most people don’t want to come in second to the computer. When it is in this sensitive of an area, it can cause a relationship to self-destruct rather quickly.
Your Instincts Tell You to Leave
Does your stomach always feel like it is in a knot? If so, it may be your gut instincts trying to tell you something.
If something is telling you to go, and you aren’t sure, check in with people close to you. You can also talk to a therapist who can help you weigh the pros and cons.
You Overcompensate on Social Media
Social media allows you to create an edited version of your life. It is where you can craft the illusion that everything is fine and hide your unhappy marriage.
If you or your partner suddenly begin to overshare on social media, it is probably done to try to hide the truth.
Turning to your news feed to continually share how great your relationship is, even when you know it isn’t, could be a clear sign things are falling apart faster than you thought.
Now You Know the Signs You Need a Divorce
As you can see from the information here, you need a divorce more than a few signs. Knowing these signs can help you evaluate your marriage and determine if it is time to make a change.
While divorce can be a scary thing, in many situations, it is the best solution. There’s no reason for you to stay in a marriage that is wrought with arguing and difficulties.
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